Selfish
by Talon of soaring Eagle
Summary: Roy pulled away, something was wrong. "Ed?" He asked very carefully. The boy looked at him, usually fierce golden eyes wide and fearful, something was very very wrong.


**A/n: **Hey guys! :D No don't worry, I didn't get shot in the thigh and bled to death, I just stubbed my toe somewhere on the fridge. That's as good as it gets at home, except for that time I slipped and got a _massive_ bruise on my foot-BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT! I'm sure you've all been waiting- ... no? Well I'm at least 2% sure someone out there was... Without further ado, I present you something that is not humor and is bordering on the edge of horror! Italics means flashbacks!

**Warnings: **Bloooooood yeah that's about it- oh yeah and swearwords. I'm not own FMA :DD

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Selfish

He found him kneeling in the carnage, holding the wrecked armor in his arms.

_It was dark. The colonel had sent them on another mission. Something about checking out the warehouse for a few traffickers, he would have asked Al about it but right now they had to keep silent, the guys were in sight._

The boy was rocking the chunk of armor back and forth lovingly, singing soothing lullabies. "Don't you worry, don't you worry my dear sweet baby brother," he crooned, lips fluttering over the cold metal,"for when you wake up from your slumber I won't be with any other."

_"B-brother?" _

_"Don't worry Al, I got this," he whispered, checking their targets over once more an making sure that they were still undetected before turning around to flash his brother a grin. _

The soldier froze up when he stepped on a broken plank. The boy looked up and smiled,"Colonel."

_What he saw made him stiffen and go pale._

"Fulmetal," his voice cracked and his emotionless mask wavered and he fell to his knees,"Alphonse, he's gone." Seeing the brat that he admired the most looking so lost was breaking him. Ed only tilted his head, giving Roy a half smirk.

"No he's not."

_"Don't move or the freak gets it," the man had his finger hovering over Al's blood seal, so so close to wiping it off. His sneer grew as Ed's eyes widened in horror._

Sweet Alphonse who was the only one that could hold his brother back, hold him together and bring a smile full of the purest form of joy on Ed's face was gone. The dear little boy in the armor that always tried to bring cheer to the glum of the military was dead. Roy almost couldn't believe it but seeing his protege turn back to the metal scrap with the bloody smear on it was evidence enough.

"Fullmetal stop," he pleaded, moving closer. The blood stained his uniform, soaking through the fabric and caressing his palms and legs.

_They had bound him, tied his hands to his elbows so that he couldn't move. The man laughed harshly and the only thing Ed could do as a dirty rag was stuffed into his mouth was glare heatedly at him and he couldn't even do that once the blindfold was on. "You'll make a nice display for your precious colonel once he gets here." _

_Ed snarled as best as he could and waited for them to free Alphonse. _

_Something was wrong._

"Can't you feel it colonel?" The boy whispered, his eyes going wider and his smile wobbling at the sides,"It's Al."

_It fell onto his immobilized legs first with a clang, then someone kicked it so that it flipped over onto his thighs. Metal, it was metal- no it was_

_It was armor. Unmoving armor. Cold armor. Soulless armor. The warm thrum of an active array was gone, there was no voice calling him 'brother' and somehow somewhere Ed felt something inside him die along with his baby brother._

"W-what?" He was a bit apprehensive of the way his young subordinate was swaying, eyes unblinking yet unfocused, as if he were looking at something else though his gaze was pointed straight at him.

"I said," he repeated slowly,"it's Al. He's here"

_He bet they weren't expecting him to tear through the rope like it was fine thread, but then again neither was he. Guess no one knew the strength of automail when the energy fueling it was going haywire. Again he didn't make a sound, not even when he dived at the first man (his face was so contorted with fear that Ed almost -laughed-). He swung his fist and the man's head caved like damp soil, except soil didn't spill quite so much filth._

"Come here colonel," he invited, patting the armor gently,"come and see." Roy swallowed his fear and tried to still his pounding heart. With the slightest hesitation, he shuffled closer, trying to see what Ed was trying to show him.

"See?"

_It was over. Ed hopped down from the mauled carcass, dropping the knife along with the hand he had ripped off. The clatter of steel rang in his ears and he stumbled, crawled the rest of the way to Al. _

_Al couldn't be dead. See? There was the blood seal that he created. It was just a bit blurry from the adrenalin. He just needed to wait for Al to wake up. To wake up. Yeah he would wait, he would wait as long as he had to. For his baby brother. Because it was for Al._

"See its Al!" Ed said a little too desperately,"Can't you see, colonel?" All he saw was a smeared bloodstain and he choked on his tears.

"Y-yeah, yeah I see it." But when he looked back Ed was shying back in horror.

"N-no you don't see it. You think I'm crazy! I'm crazy, you- shit. Shit! Al, h-he's dead isn't he? Al's gone and I-I," the boy's nearly crazed rambling paused and his smile returned, even more deranged and unstable then before,"I can do it. It'll work this time, right colonel? It'll work?" Roy could only stare at the boy as he started tracing a circle around himself, in blood.

A hexagon, a line with a hook and another hexagon. Ed traced a few runes that Roy had never seen before and right in the middle of the hook, dripped the thick crimson liquid, hands already stained with blood.

"F-Fullmetal, what-?"

"Don't try to stop me," Ed didn't even look up, creating another circle within the array,"I'll kill you colonel." When he finally did look up, he was crying, the tears rolling down his cheeks like the dam finally collapsed,"I'll kill you if you screw with me." The circle was complete. "Blood amplifies alchemic reactions, it's gonna work this time, I can bring him back!"

Roy moved to grab the boy's hand, stop him from crafting the array that would surely end his life-and suddenly he was flying though the air with a chocked cry, his stomach in fiery agony with the powerful kick that it had just received, _just like a cornered rabbit. _

"No!" Roy managed to shriek before the boy slammed his hand onto the middle of the array, a broken smile on his face.

_Tell Al I'm sorry._

The light blinded him, flashing blue, yellow, red, green and every single color on the color wheel. Roy couldn't even hear his own screaming over the crackling of the reaction.

And then it stopped.

Roy opened his eyes, the blood rushing loud in his ears. His uniform was caked in quickly drying blood where he landed. The pale figure lay in the middle of the ruined array, golden hair matted with blood. Roy's breathing hitched and he ran over, ignoring the pain flaring in his undoubtedly bruised stomach and almost slipping in the liquid. He collapsed to his knees beside the boy and begin fumbling for a pulse, anything!

"No, no, no, no, nononono," he could feel the burn behind his eyes when he _couldn't find one_ and started to roughly compress the boy's limp chest, over and over and _breathe_. Pushing the air into his mouth and trying to make him _breathe_. Come on, come on! BREATHE!

Ed's golden eyes fluttered open and he gasped, coughing and coughing and _oh my god he was alive_! Roy openly burst into tears and hugged the child, Al was dead, Al was dead and no one could do anything but Ed was alive and well and breathing and no one was going to take away any of his boys ever again. His heart fluttered when arms wrapped hesitantly around him, one flesh and the other metal but he was alive!

"Wet?" The boy rasped, hazy gaze confused and breathing labored,"It's warm." Then his eyes really opened and he was staring at the Roy with a look of utter shock,"C-colonel?"

"Yeah, yeah it's me Fullmetal," Roy choked, pulling the boy deeper in this trembling embrace, he willingly buried his face in the colonel's neck,"you're back, it's okay."

"Fullmetal?" Ed breathed,"W-what?"

_Tell Alphonse I'm sorry._

The words hit him like a brick, a searing hot brick laced with acid, thorns and poisonous caterpillars. "Ed?" Roy asked very carefully, pulling away a bit to look the confused teen in the eyes.

"Colonel?" his usually fierce golden eyes shone with fear and unease,"Why're you calling me- where's brother?!"

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**A/n: **Heh. Please review? :3 I promise I won't unplug your charger while you're sleeping. Anyways, you know the drill.

**Talon out~!**


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